Saturday, October 31, 2015

Memories of the Modesto Peace Center by Samuel R. Tyson - A Founding Member

By the time the Peace Center came into being, the Saturday Night Group had all but disappeared when so many people went to Canada.

The remnants were available for the new effort, although it was originally limited to draft counseling. The draft work had been ongoing in an ad hoc sort of manner by individual volunteers. Vietnam took counseling from the theoretical to the hard facts of reality. Lives were very much in jeopardy.

The true organizing work of the 1970s was not by or through the Peace Center with its limited vision. Something different popped up – nuclear power. The proposal to build nuclear energy facilities west of Waterford brought opposition. At various times it became necessary to take on Pacific Gas & Electric, General Electric, Livermore, Turlock Irrigation District and Modesto Irrigation District. It was a new learning experience to perform this service under pressure. Stanislaus Safe Energy then came into existence to block, refute and deny any such facility. Of course Government bodies and the Stanislaus and San Joaquin Farm Bureau were all for it.

For once the Modesto Bee did it – a half page story with pictures of the half dozen activists standing up on the front lines for Safe Energy. Public meetings, Dr. John Gofman speaking, the pancake breakfast a three month Notice of dissenting was created and then the Harvest Supper was started as a second fund raiser. Safe Energy’s last major public event was at the 1987 Stanislaus County Fair of 1987 in the midst of the super conductor-super collider protests. The proponents of this super warfare program were the University of California, Livermore, liberal Democrats, Chambers of Commerce, as usual, the school system and of course Governmental agencies.

In between these events came the farm workers to Modesto, 8000 on foot or car to add to the 1000 or so already at Graceada. Vietnam was over so a lot of energy was now available energy to work on farm worker issues. Gallo was far and above the great villain as a large outfit not interested in being limited by the Farm Worker’s Union. What was Modest to do with such an invasion and with it, its inflammatory possibilities?

Having done crowd control by invitation several times in San Francisco’s anti-war marches, it was an interesting challenge for me. Organizer Chuck Gardenier and I agreed it would be useful to have a non-violent presence on March 1, 1975. Since there had already been joint meetings with the California Highway Patrol, Sheriff deputies of several counties and the Modesto Police Department.  Chuck and I were known to them, to say the least. There had been violence during the march in Merced County recently. So in blue jeans and jacket with a red arm band, I was a presence all along the side to take (block) intersections or along the front as Modesto was cut in half from Gallo to Graceada Park. Holding half of Needham for the crowd, the traffic got real messy, but there was no violence. The Modesto Police backed off and left the crowd to discipline itself.

When the Latin Americas group decided to stage a sit in inside Tony Coehlo’s office during the Nicaraguan Contra imbroglio, I was brought in to do the non-violence organizing. Now with the people ready to sit in, it could be done all at once, a big bang, as it were. It appeared more useful to split into three groups for a  larger impact. So, poor Jane Jackson, who knew many of us, had to be at her desk three days to watch people be arrested. It was not that Coehlo was a poor congressman but as one in a leadership position, more was needed and could have been done to end the conflict.

Whatever organizational skills there may be, it cannot work without other people. Foremost were Howard Washburn and Howard TenBrink who were both there from the beginning at the monthly Fellowship of Reconciliation Meetings. He was in Nevada, Self Help Housing (SHE) (Visalia), Everyman Building, Coehlo’s office and in later years collating the Stanislaus Peace/Life Connections.

Howard Washburn – Rural Life Conference (1940-1950s), first director of SHE (1960s), tax resister at Fresno, Livermore, Vandenburg, who tragically, with much of his family, was killed in an automobile accident. Jake Kirihara (Livingston) SHE board, Livermore, Coehlo’s office, United Technology Middle plant (Merced County).

Mel Harvey was of this breed in Nevada, arrested for leafleting at the IRS in Modesto (I was not ready for arrest, nor was Betty Tillotsoin or Frank Muench), Oakland Induction Center 1967. Mary Harvey upon the Everyman sentencing in 1960, went to Nevada, crossed the line and was arrested,  given 30 days in jail – the only woman in the Tonpah jail (she was on the second floor). These folks were there; open and allowing themselves to be available for joint action over a period of many years.

For its time slot, Safe Energy found Dan Pollack (Ecology Action) a stalwart. Jim Higgs came along in the 1970s but did not break out until the 1980s, with more than one visit to Livermore and Santa Rita.

Involved with the United Technology venture and sit ins at Coehlo’s office – Jim Higgs was a long time Peace Center board member. He could be frustrating, certainly. But he did hang in with Peace Center activities as long as possible.

Kay Barnes, who overcame her military raising to come to look at Peace. For nearly 20 years she did the little things to keep the Center going, as a volunteer. As usual there was little thanks, if any at all.

Not doing in public does not mean the service is worth less. One does not relish the value of such help until it is gone. A venture to Livermore was not her thing. An example of her commitment: When coming out of the Stanislaus County jail for sitting in at Coehlo’s office, I was totally disoriented. It had been a hot day and the air conditioner broke down, leaving the inmates dripping and half clothed.

For once Zane Clark, or whoever was running the place,  arranged for inmates to shower out of regulation. Mine was at midnight, but the cell was crowded, with most inmates on the floor.

The next morning, I was pushed out the door after minimal sleep. But there was my guardian angel, Kay, to transport my carcass to Waterford. Christmas. This was a service more than once was provided at the Choose Life Christmas-blocking at Livermore. My going number there is under 1000 as one of the lags (1960) though they can have 10,000 entices to Santa Rita in a year. No organizer can do it without help.

When one is lucky there are those who can be leaned upon for years.

Those who dare to follow conscience under fear, but refuse to allow it to dominate or paralyze action and are in this sense free.

After exposure to various situations,  there is an esprit which may well appear to be arrogance.

Experience has taught certain lessons. There are probabilities of behavior and results. However, planning based on effectiveness tends to backfire as the means become distorted by the desire.

Results are long term. It is ludicrous to expect change of a useful nature in under five years. Patience is not a virtue much cultivated, because our ego demands satisfaction.

Monday, October 12, 2015

Political Cannon Fodder of Modesto Election 2015: The Homeless.

Dave Lopez has a solution to the "homeless problem".
The City of Modesto has been getting a lot of complaints about the homeless lately. Or so they say, of course. I seriously doubt that the amount weighs no more than a scant few.  Some overly active volunteers of the “Associations”, as one candidate put it.

Oh, and Mr. Wright is looking much more like a war criminal than he even did back in the Blue Ribbon Homeless Commission Days.   

Yeah. That was pretty creepy. He’s all about the fifth in revenue in the history of the Modesto City Council running the budgets. Woods for trees? What does it really mean? He indicated quite strongly, practically taking full credit for the report that was the result of this ad hoc committee. 

A committee that had been manufactured by Mr. Joe Muratore. A SCAP finger in the pie boy in denial. Plausibly.

Joe Muratore’s primary complaint was that he did not like to be approached by transvestites while taking out his “chic”1 in Beautiful Downtown Modesto. 

Remember, he was the one that I succumbed to in my severe defeat in the 2009 Modesto City Council Race for District 4. A District mapped out primarily by Ryan Swehla and promoted by  me during the Modesto District Drawing of the day. It was the first race with newly formed districts.  But I realized that all my biasness was put aside when he was found to have embezzled approximately 63,000 Dollars in HUD funds through his Real Estate Businesses. Him and Ryan Swehla. So Joe Muratore became the Council king of District 4. In short, what we referred to as “the Swhela Map.” 

Of course you didn’t see our illustrious District Attorney’s Office go after him, now did you? No. You did not. But She was there at the forum this evening.  That, I can tell you.

She was probably there because she’s not stupid.  If one of my largest critics in the entire Stanislaus County was running for mayor, I would want to keep tabs on him too. Maybe arrest him in his underwear, like they did that AQUITTED Sheriff’sCaptain, Raul DeLeon. Then they can tie him too, to the murder of Kauffman.

I mean, hey, if the glove fits2…Oh, yeah, and my Girl Friday was there. Still trying to get that date, I’m afraid. But that was lovely, to see her. Very witty. Very witty indeed. Oh, and then there was Dave Lopez.
Now, for some reason, I cannot, for the life of me, understand “atall” why, why on this Earth I would picture – cattle trucks. Train cars, if you will. Filled with people. Like in the Wall or Schindler’s List. To pack people into “buses” and take them back to wherever they came from.

Yeah, you know, I’m kind of getting sick of the latest cliché’ remark, but I must just say:


Just when you thought it was safe to sleep in a doorway. Those unconstitutional ordinances will come. The one’s you never really thought of. Probably too busy just trying to survive. But hey, that’s no problem, because, “Modesto serves 13 meals a day”.

I know what you’re thinking right now. But no. This is not a work of fiction. Satire. Factual Satire. This was Joe Muratore’s shtick too, when he ran for the District 4 of the Modesto City Council. Yet his was not so novel as Dave Lopez’s.

Instead of Cattle Trucks, when I think of Joe Muratore, I think – Concentration Camps

Yes. It’s a pattern of Nazism. Systems of human “eradication”3 or the removal of “human blight”.4 Internment and Starvation was Muratores plan to make the pestilence “go to another town”.5
But no, Dave Lopez has a better idea. eliminate them by putting them on trains to “wherever they come from”.6

Carmen Sabatino and I were at McClatchy Park. You know, the pretty one kitty-corner to the 1972 Library, leaving its former building as a Modesto History Museum that might as well bear a large sign above the front doors, “WHITE ONLY”. Because of all the exhibits they proudly postulate, you won’t find much “otherness”.7

And it was there: McClatchy Park.  Bearing the publishing name of the Modesto Bee.  That was where we were. Interviewing Homeless McClatchy Park Dwellers that were being forcibly banned from the Public Park under the auspices of the McHenry Mansion possession of the property. Even though the McHenry Mansion is of the public trust, and therefore makes this an unconstitutional and a legally actionable illegal action.8

It was there that Carmen Sabatino had an intense realization. That the homeless were in constant danger of being victimized, as in robbed, beaten, etc.

It was perfect. It was emblazoned on his consciousness. And what is more, he was the only candidate that happened to mention what the homeless might have to say about the homeless or in any way, what it just might be like; feel like, to be homeless.

Hard to believe it is now the middle of October.

Here comes the rain again.

Now is the best time to step up for all Modesto Citizens.  No matter where they be from.

We need to be sensible. The world is watching how we treat our poor. What are we going to teach them?

1.    He didn’t actually say that.
2.    Rumpumpum
3.    He did actually say that.
4.    He did actually say that.
5.    He did actually say that.
6.    He did actually say that.
7.    That’s an Othello reference, by the way.
8.    Yeah. Say that three times fast.

Copyright 2015 Robert Stanford all rights reserved.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Transcript - Given no choice - Jannelle Llorens succumbs to the Juice and his intimidation

Transcription Names:
Janelle - Janelle Llorens
Jacobson - District Attorney Investigator Steve "Juice" Jacobson
Hankins - Richard Hankins - Attorney for Janelle Llorens

Janelle - ...On either end, I was, you know, the follow througher for lack of better terms.

Hankins - Unintelligible

Jacobson - Yeah you were the one, you were the one that was being directed to file this double bond stuff down at the courthouse.You were the one that was being directed, as a matter of fact -

Janelle - And honestly...

Jacobson - You were used all of the way through this process even up and past Stanford and AJ and exploiting you and your uncomf- uncomfortableness. Of me being there, you know you were used all of the way through this process. And you now realize and understand that.

Janelle - To some extent, yeah.

Jacobson - Now, when we leave here today, is this something where, you're going to have the uh, a casual relationship with AJ and Stanford and Mark Davis, and...

Jacobson - I don't talk to Stanford or Mark Davis.

Jacobson - And the rest of these guys?

Janelle - But I will be honest with you, AJ's kids are a big part of my life and, and, and they're my family -

Jacobson - Right. Right.

Janelle - And AJ knows that, you know, He's -

Jacobson - Have you talked to him about what you're doing here today?

Janelle - He knows that I've decided to cooperate with you guys and, and, and you know

Copyright 2015 Robert Stanford all rights reserved.

Transcript of DA Juice Jacobson Not Wanting To Be Discovered

 Names in transcription:

Janelle - Janelle Llorens
Jacobson - Distict Attorney Investigator Steve "Juice" Jacobson

Janelle - Of course, Yeah.

Jacobson - One thing I wanted to talk about and I'll go back into that but since I have this out here. This is, uh, a posting by Stanford. And he says that um, on January 29th at about 3:15, I served an opposition for the defense from county council. Do you remember when I came into the office and you were talking about the cameras that they had for the business and the security and surveillance cameras picked me up. By serving county council's office opposition to AJ...remember that? And then like a day or two later I served a search warrant there at the business?

Janelle - I remember when you came in for the search warrant but I don't, I don't recall uh -

Jacobson - The surveillance cameras and the system that you remember at the business, they were pretty clear right? I mean according to Stanford they had me identified the day prior...

Janelle - Yeah, you can zoom in -

Jacobson - You can zoom in and see who the person is coming into the front office -

Janelle - Yeah.

Jacobson - There, with the camera surveillance systems?

Janelle - mh hm.

Jacobson - Ok. Because when I interviewed AJ the day of the search warrant he was already aware of me. He already knew who I was. He said - ok I was waiting for this, it's kind of odd that you would serve county council's opposition personally to us, instead of being sent to a process server or in the mail. So he said, I figured so something was coming or something was...awry here. And I just simply ask, if if you kindof knew all this stuff, was this information still happening with these motions or at some point did everything start to get tightened up now that you know there was a criminal investigation going on at the same time that these civil investigations were going over these motions?

Janelle - I just think honestly - 

Copyright 2015 Robert Stanford all rights reserved.

Friday, August 28, 2015

DA Jacobson Building His Bogus Kauffman Case Against Carson And Pontillo

Steve "Jake" Jacobson - framing up the Korey Kauffman murder vs. Carson.

This was June 20th 2014.

Transcription Names:

Janelle - Janelle Llorens
Hankins - Richard Hankins - Attorney for Janelle Llorens
DA Jacobson - The Juice

Janelle  - I know the box was there...

CA Insurance Investigator - You knew there was a box. How much money was in there is beyond...

Janelle - I never personally saw it, no.

CA Insurance Investigator - Ok.

Janelle - Who's next?

DA Jacobson - do you have other - I'm kinda finished up right here, I just had some last questions for Janelle.

Janelle - Alright.

DA Jacobson - You know that individual?

Janelle - That's Frank Carson

DA Jacobson - Do you know this individual here? Robert Woody? You guys bailed him out back in uh, 2008.

Janelle - He doesn't look familiar to me, no. I can't say that I do.

DA Jacobson - Do you know this individual here? And this individual. They're actually brothers. Daljit and Baljit Atwal?

Janelle - I, I never, I can't actually say I did anything with them. I don't - He looks vaguely familiar -

Hankins - I was going to say the same thing about -

Janelle - So, but I can't, I can't say that I know any of these people by name.

DA Jacobson - So, you don't, you don't know Robert Woody by name or his face doesn't look familiar as a prior client of AJ's Bail Bonds? This is back in 2008 during your timeframe there.

Janelle - Yeah. I can't, I can't honestly say that his face rings a bell to me.

DA Jacobson - You never heard any discussions there, with, uh, at the business regarding Robert Woody? Frank Carson? Discussing anything about any business at all? You ever hear the name Korey Kauffman come up?

Janelle - No. No, not at all. Frank Carson never really hung around our office...when we were doing the bail bonds.

DA Jacobson - Did you ever hear Frank Carson come in? At AJ Bailbonds and tell AJ that he wasn't going to be able to  represent him because he felt he was going to be arrested?

Janelle - mh mh. The only time, the only time that Frank Carson, I remember when Frank Carson got involved, after the initial raid, the raid where you came in and thats when AJ started talking to Frank -

DA Jacobson - What did he say?

Janelle - Well just about, just about complaints, you know, like whats going on? Why is this happening? You know, that he had already tried to go and talk to the Sheriff, and that you know, this is ridiculous and you know, Carson kind of had background with you guys, because he'd already worked with you guys on other cases and AJ had a Federal attorney that was helping with...when we thought it was going to be a Federal case, but wasn't really helping with anything locally...with the harassment that AJ thought was going on as far as like, you know, the raids, and you guys talking to people. So that's when he brought Carson in so that we could try to resolve something before it got to all this. And Carson was suppose to, you know, he just told him about the circumstances, that you had come in, that you took everything and you know Carson was trying to help since Carson had some background originally when you guys, some people had stopped David and When it all started kind of happening, AJ had kind of talked to Carson about it because, you know, Carson knows Modesto. He knows what's going on around here so...that's about as far as it - but you know, as far as any personal business with Carson, they never talked about as far as personal with Carson, like we never had any personal relationship with him or anything and... never anything like that.

Hankins - To your knowledge?

DA Jacobson - To your knowledge.

Janelle - Of course, Yeah.

DA Jacobson - One thing that I wanted to talk about and I'll go back into that, but since I have this out here, this is uh, uh, a posting by Stanford. And he says that, um, on January 29th at about 3:15 I served an opposition from a defendant at county council, do you remember that --- 30

Copyright 2015 Robert Stanford all rights reserved.

The Jacobson DA Investigator Sextape Intimidation Transcript

Janelle Llorens discusses the Stanislaus District Attorney Investigator looking at Ms. Llorens breasts. In this video, you can see how "juice monster" Jacobson is not only completely off base by confronting Janelle regarding his own sexual assault - he brow beats her and intimidates her to see reality as he does.

Transcript of The Jacobson DA Investigator Sex Tape Intimidation:
Transcription Names of This Video: Stanislaus County District Attorney Investigator Steve Jacobson Janelle Llorens – Former Office Administrator for AJ’s Bail Bonds Richard Hankins – Attorney for Janelle Llorens

Jacobson - Where did all of that originate from Janelle. You know that to be false.

Janelle  - It originated, sir, because when you watch the cameras...

Jacobson - no, no, no I don't want to hear about all that speculation. I was there with you. You know that that never happened.

Janelle - What happened what happened was you did make me feel uncomfortable. I will be honest with that. was a personal space thing. Obviously I don't...

Jacobson - But you were saying I looked down your shirt?

Janelle - It did appear to me to be that way. Honestly.

Jacobson - That I was looking down your shirt, Janelle?

Janelle - It did appear to me to be that way. I'm sorry if you're not - if you were'nt, but it kindof did appear to feel that way to me. I, I, I and I'm sorry if it's.....

Jacobson  - Well you know, if that's your perception...then I'm fine with that. But if you're making that up to try to smut me up or make or make this personal or something...

Janelle - No,it was, it was my perception and then...

Jacobson - Did you ever articulate that to me?

Janelle - I'm not the one that took it out. I, I, I had the feelings, I felt awkward about it and then...

Jacobson - Did you say something to me?

Janelle - Then AJ had other people working on it that blew it way out of proportion...

Jacobson - Who, who were those other people?

Janelle - Robert Stanford was working there and it got blown way out of proportion and I know the video is on Youtube and I was upset about it cause I did feel uncomfortable and then, now the whole world could see me feel uncomfortable. But you know, I mean...

Jacobson - You understand the purpose of why I kind of had to be in your space while going through that computer process?

Janelle - Just ultimately, ultimately it was an uncomfortable situation all around...

Jacobson - I completely agree

Janelle - And it got to be...

Jacobson - I never wanted to be in your business anymore than you wanted me in there.

Janelle - And it felt uncomfortable...

Jacobson - But for, but for you or anybody else to say that this was for sexual gratification on my part, is completely out of line.

Janelle - No, I won't say that it is. I won't say that it is....

Jacobson - Completely. And when you're talking about him wanting to make things personal? We're trying to do our job, and yet we are getting called steroid users or juice monsters or whatever it is they're wanting to call us and then to throw this in there Janelle, that this is some sort of sexual gratification on me or the part of anybody else that was there? Completely improper.

Janelle - That's not, that's not (unintelligable)

Jacobson - That's what he's asking. Who's idea was this? See, what happens, Janelle, with this case, and other cases dealing with AJ and Frank Carson and these other types of individuals, is that there is a continual, I would say, interferance, or I would say - obstruction into the investigation by these individuals trying to distract from the facts and trying to...smut up people or ruin reputations because they can't deal with the facts of the investigation. So what my partner's asking is because this is an ongoing, kind of conspiracy with these individuals to do this and not just in this case, but in other cases, what do you know about that? If you said it makes you feel uncomfortable, but you didn't tell me, who did you tell?

Janelle - I just discussed it in the office.

Jacobson - With AJ? With Robert Stanford? With Frank Carson...

Janelle - No, not Frank Carson. Probably AJ and Robert Stanford and then Robert, Robert Stanford was real gung-ho on, as I am sure you guys have read, he is an avid Modesto Bee blogger and you know, he just found the story and ran with it and I just sat back and went with it, honestly, you know...

Jacobson - But we talked after that. You called me a couple times, uh, to discuss bail matters and you never said anything over the phone like, hey you know...

Janelle - Because I, it got blown out of proportion. It did and I...but I, I let it happen. And I was angry at the time and I let it happen...

Jacobson - Well I'll accept an apology and at the same time I'm going to forgive you because it wasn't your perception and it was not meant out of malice or ill will that it got blown out of proportion by other individuals. And those other individuals may in fact have some sort of animosity toward me to want to want to make this personal because of my effectiveness in doing my job.

Janelle’s Attorney - Hankins - And, and they have a different agenda.

Jacobson - They have a different agenda all together. I am simply about finding the truth of things. If you come to me in a motion and you say I lied, I want to know that. If you come to me and say that I did something improper and this is - I want to know about that. This is, this is not just about Steve Jacobson doing an investigation. I represent the people of Stanislaus County.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

I Ain’t Goin’ Out Like No Punk, Bitch

A few days ago, I attended another child’s funeral. This time it was my own grandson. So please, I beg your pardon if I might offend thee, yet I am a bit pissed off as it were. Now that I have been there, I understand. And I also understand that there is a certain amount of freedom when you have nothing left to lose. I intend to exercise some of that freedom in this article now.

Before I begin, in the interest of posterity and hopefully avoiding a lot of explanation to the few intelligent people I may or may not know that will inevitable approach me and inform me, as though they were a parent or school counselor of my inappropriate diction, let me make this disclaimer. First, my use of the word faggot has nothing to do with gays or the gay community in any way – it is just easier to type then cock sucker. Secondly, I really don’t intend to injure or kill anyone, I will leave that to their own karma and pray that I am not there to bear witness because I would have no choice to do anything I could to prevent such a thing. Other than that, Fuck You.

I stood at the graveside and spoke. I can’t remember exactly what I said, but it was certainly not what I meant to say. What I meant to say was that this whole situation has brought me to ask no more than one question, simply this – “Why can’t I catch a fuckin’ break?”.

Of course the misery did not start with the death of my grandchild. It really started with my daughter’s faggot junky old man. A real piece of work. One that prefers to inject a Drano derivative into his veins and thinks this defines manhood.

Check it. Not to mention that he actually goes so far as to blame my daughter for the death of her child without any substantial evidence of any kind and much worse sins that I just really don’t need to go into, since anyone that’s been around the block more than a time or two already knows that this is the same old Fucking story with the same fucking subplots ending and fucking pulp in the middle of it all.

Sitting in opposite pews as though my daughter was some sort of a fucking baby killer, he sauntered over there with his pants hanging off his ass like he was one of the little kids I had not wanted to bury in my recent past. Sporting gangster gear and eliciting the word “Nigga” as though he had the fucking right, he would not even show enough respect to take off sunglasses he obviously was too stupid to realize were women’s glasses when he lifted them from whatever nodded junky there was to lift them from.

Seeing the sides of the earth in which my grandson’s casket would be lowered down, I thought of someone much more deserving to be buried alive in there. If I had only known my thoughts were shared by the boy my daughter should have been with that was there with us that day, I would probably be a lot poorer after having paid off Lakewood Memorial for their cooperation, groundskeeper services and silence. But life is long. For me anyway. And what this faggot can’t possibly realize is that I am one fucking vindictive mother fucker.

Before all of that shit, it was the hardest thing I ever did, to watch my daughter stand before the casket of her child sobbing as though her world had just come to a tragic and abrupt end. Oh, fuck. I guess it had. Something broke inside of me and the priestly austerity went to hell along with my respect for a faith which was never really my own. It was only days before that I had spelled it all out for her. You know, my daughter, Whitney Stanford. That was when Deegan Stanford was still alive. Still the prince of our heritage. I explained to her why I do what I do and have done what I have done. That we must stand up against the NAZI scum bag pigs and others that would destroy us for the gold fillings in her teeth. (Like her old man, that faggot I was telling you about. Mr. Hepstall)

Something snapped. Something gave way. No longer did I feel like it was ok to be polite and hold my tongue when I knew what the reality was. When I knew what the truth was. That all of these faggot mother fuckers that think they got something on me can go fuck themselves. Deegan Stanford was here. Deegan Stanford was mine and now he is gone. Therefore my fucking dues are paid bitches. I can say whatever the fuck I want. What the fuck can you do to me now? That’s right faggots. How do you like me now?

Copyright 2015 Robert Stanford all rights reserved.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Twenty-Five Years Later - Tears For Trina Published Again

Tears For Trina - Published Again In It's Original Form From 1989

Choose Your Edition

The autobiography of Robert Stanford and his adventures trying to find himself. All based on true stories, this autobiography was written by a twenty year old and details much of the history of Northern California from the late 1970's throughout the 1980's. Extremely controversial and explicit. Parental Guidance advised.© 2014

322 pages - all reproduced from one of the original editions of the 200 copy printing of 1989.

Each copy personally signed by author and also includes letter of authenticity. For an additional charge, letter of authenticity can be notarized.

In 1989 I hand published two hundred volumes of Tears for Trina under the pseudonym of Da Trione Laughing Heart.

Four years in the making, this work chronologically covered events of my life from 1977 through 1986.
I held nothing back and reported my life, my actions and the actions of others in raw unadulterated detail.
The first draft was over 800 pages long and after several edits I was able to bring the resulting work down to 300 pages by the elimination of many redundancies and stories that were just not appropriate for what I was trying to convey.

After selling approximately 175 copies (these being the only copies of the original printing in existence) I burned the remaining 25 volumes along with every shred of previous manuscript versions that I possessed in an effort to demonstrate that the work was not more important to me than my daughter. She was only two to three at the time.

Now, she has come of age and though my futile ritual of providing a funeral pyre for Tears for Trina may have been muted, at best, at the time, the act came to be a pivotal foothold in my daughter’s life. As she became older, she clearly understood that my love for her superseded all else. So now, with her encouragement, I republish Tears for Trina once more.

Robert Stanford With Tears For Trina 1989

Robert Stanford Reunited With Tears For Trina 2014

Raw and never finally edited, the consistencies in names, grammar and spelling are horrible. Though today, as a professional writer, this would be an embarrassment to me, I have reproduced the work in its original and unabridged form. Through reading this book, you will be able to follow me through the most intense of experiences. You will be shocked and whatever you think of me before reading this book will drastically change afterwards. Certainly never meant for self-glorification, I fully trust that it will alter the way that you look at life and the angst of a teenager so curios and in such a hurry to grow up.

Many of the names have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty, and some of the stories were modified to protect myself. This was intended to be more of a work of art than a reporter’s memoirs.

The mere fact that I was able to write an extremely comprehensible autobiography at the age of twenty is in itself an amazing feat and a testament to my desire to convey something special about my life and the life of others.

This work was certainly a labor of love as I take you side by side with me in my quest for finding myself and along the way experiences the horrors, joys and hardships of life. This work is reproduced from an actual copy of the original.

Each copy will be signed by the author and a letter of authenticity will be issued with each copy sold. For an additional fee, the letter of authenticity will be notarized. Pricing for both soft and hard cover editions are included in the "Buy Now" drop down box. Paypal and all major credit cards are accepted.

Thank you,

Robert Wade Stanford
AKA Da Trione Laughing Heart
AKA Jack Lennon
AKA Jerry McKinney
AKA Pollo Suave

Chapter Art by Nate Riddle:

Chapter One

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Nobody Cares

For several years now, I have been trying to save the world. Seeking my own salvation through the redemption of others, I have ended up with several sociologically dry case study books, a new language and a perspective unique, yet at the same time impaired by my own lack of experience. Experience I will never have. If I am to be so fortunate.

I was a good neighbor. I was a good priest. I was ethical and never once did I wince in the face of danger, manipulation or ridicule in the public square. I gave more than I had to give of my time, money and most of all - my self. I gave everything with a pink bow, emblazoned with gold lettering that spelled out "ACTIVISM".

Activism is a catch-all drawer of a word. It means so many different things to so many different people. For me it was more than a title, it was a condemnation. At the very best, it was a label that gave a clear indication to the community that it was OK for me to be ineffectual in relieving the plight of lesser, undesirable human beings, because I was nothing but shadow to begin with.

I held on tightly to the ideal that matters of life and death were to be taken with the utmost urgency. With the utmost importance. But that particular ideal, as with so many others, had long-since slipped away from the consciousness of the community. Along with any hope of compassion, empathy or understanding. All of these priceless precious things had been exchanged for narcissism and personal "Quality of Life" goals.

I thought that I could bring these ideals back again. I thought that I could surly demonstrate by example passion and devotion to others in such close proximity that it was worthwhile to address the needs of the suffering, whoever they may be. I thought wrong. I was wrong. Its true. You cannot revive a corpse.

In the face of further ridicule, slander and even persecution by my own religion, I write the truth to you now. The truth that no body really cares about anyone else but themselves and with good reason. To care about the plight of another human being is to take that suffering upon yourself, albeit in a different form, but suffering nonetheless.

For all of my valiant and noble effort, I am left with so much reward. A reputation that precedes me everywhere I turn, wrought with falsehoods and lies. I am penniless, unemployable and forever spilled over with suspicion and looked upon as nothing more than a maniacal, bothersome, trouble making dissenter. I am now seen exactly as those I have served - an undesirable human being.

And that is just on the outside. On the inside, my memories haunt my dreams, nearly every night. Filled with horribly unspeakable evil. Gang violence, child abuse to a horrific degree and lonely deaths along the creek's banks, all of which I will never be able to prevent. Now I see their wounds, tears and death states in every moment of my life.

I am nothing but a loser, having thrown my life away because I am so insane, I actually thought that I could lead the lost to reason. I thought I could redeem them somehow. I was wrong.

Now I am nothing but a shell of a man, hoping that my fake confidence will buy me a little more patience with the few friends I even have today.

Even finding solace in the refuge of my original religion has been fraught with misunderstanding and cult-like abuse. Led by a self-proclaiming thug that touts violent tendencies as a badge of honor, he sports the colors that have married me to children's funerals for so long that I have now come to know how inescapable these tragedies are since they are taken so lightly by so many who are protected forever behind the very veil that I myself have provided - "They just don't understand".

My angst over the injustices that have caused me to see so many dead bodies is so fierce and fiery, that it has mentally incapacitated me. I am forever locked in a dungeon of despair and anguish over things I could never have prevented in the first place.

All I can tell you anymore for sure, is that you nave no idea how terrifying and horrible it is out there. All because no one really cares about matters of life and death anymore. All they care about is themselves.

Copyright 2014 Robert Stanford all rights reserved.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

I am the Grandson of Professional Cowboy of the Canadian Hall of Fame Jack Wade. These prints are derived from original photographs that I inherited from him. This is from his own personal collection and all of these photographs were acquired by him through his rodeo career, on site.

Every framing is custom done to fit each individual photo and is done by hand.

A letter of authenticity will be included with every item per request. For notary is an additional $20.00 - Multiple purchases can be combined on a single notarized letter if you wish.

All Shipping is free for all items.

I am still in the process of posting prints, so check back often. You can also sign up to be notified of new posts by entering your email in the box on the left hand side of this site.

I have categorized the prints and these are listed below and on the right side-bar of the site. Enjoy.

If you have any questions or special requests, please contact me at my email below. The prints can be any size you wish, just email me and I will respond with a quote of how much it will cost.

Thank you,

Robert Wade Stanford
1509 K Street #193
Modesto, CA 95354

Jack Wade listing in Canadian Professional Rodeo Hall of Fame

Jack Wade was born June 6, 1910 at Wakefield, England and came to Halkirk, Alberta where he lived until 1936, with three sisters and six brothers.

He started his rodeo career in 1925 at Battle River, Alberta, riding mane hold mounts. He claims he made more money there in two days than ranch work paid in two months.

For ten years he farmed and took in most summer rodeos in Alberta. In 1932 he trailed a chuckwagon and some bucking horses to Calgary. One horse, Typhoon, won the Calgary’s best bucking horse money. Jack drove chuckwagon for a time in the Calgary Stampede, until 1936, when he entered his first rodeo in the U.S.

Jack went to Sidney, Australia in 1938, winning the Steer Wrestling, returned in 1939, only to have a horse fall and Jack broke his foot.

Some of Jack’s accomplishments were All Around Cowboy 1936 in Dauphin, Manitoba and winning the Pendleton Round Up. He also won:

World Bronc Riding – 1939
Calgary North American All Around – 1940
Calgary Steer Decorating – 1940
Calgary Steer Riding – 1940
Calgary 2nd Bareback Riding – 1940
Calgary 1st Bareback Riding – 1942
Iowa State Fair All Around – 1941

He married Jeffie Gray of Hardy, Arkansas on June 2, 1942 in Little Rock, Arkansas. From 1947 to 1953 he judged in Calgary as well as St. Paul, Minnesota, Omaha, Spokane, Ponoka and Stettler, to mention a few. Having quit the rodeo run in the early 1950’s and finding little work in Canada, they moved to California. Here Jack drove an Auto Transport for 17 years.

Rodeo Print Categories

Australian Easter Show - 1938
Bring In The Clowns
Brownwood, Texas Rodeo
Bruce Stampede
Bull Dogging
Calf Roping
Calgary Stampede
Cheyenne Frontier Days
Classic Rodeo Shots
Cowboy Poses
Extreme Bronc Riding
Extreme Bucking Brahmas
Iowa State Rodeo
Jantzen Beach, Oregon Rodeo
Livermore, California Rodeo
Madison Square Garden
Phoenix, Arizona Rodeo
Prarie City, Oregon Rodeo
Red Bluff, California Rodeo
Reno, Nevada Rodeo
San Diego, California Rodeo
Trick Riders